Post of 20121215. Winning Raffle at Waynes' Pub

20121215 Friday a week ago, I won a raffle! A nice tote bag full of class beers and great glasses and other items.  I have never won a raffle on my own before. But as the Maryland Lottery keeps telling us, "You have to play to win!"  I have never played, or rarely played a raffle before. 

How did this happen? I walked into my favorite bar when I got home from work, about 8 pm. Amanda Peake was still working that night so I was by myself. My second most favorite bartender (after Shayna Clevenger), Alice Kistner, asked me if I wanted to buy a raffle ticket for the SPCA? (That was where all the young people crowding my favorite home away from home were from.) I said OK, I'll by one for a couple of dollars.  Alice said "You can have three for $5!"  Since she is blonde, friendly, and one of my favorite bartenders, I said OK, and handed her a five.

I forgot about the raffle and focused on the famous Mahaffey's Pub beer list.   After a while Dennis came you to me and said, "Hey Fred, is your last name Voight?" I said yeah that's close enough. Dennis said "You won the raffle!" H"e set a big, big, tote bag full of stuff and a box of a dozen glasses on the counter in front of me.  I looked up. A bunch of young people that I didn't know where cheering.  I young lady came up and shook my hand "Thank-you for supporting the SPCA!"  A asked her her name, she told me and I said thanks [her name].  They a young man stepped you and repeated the ceremony. I didn't ask him his name. Just said "I'm always glad to help."  

I didn't feel like I deserved all the stuff I won. I felt guilty. I bought the tickets because I like Alice, not because I have anything for the SPCA.  But that can be our secret.  It was a wonderful gift; I go wandering off into the dark, hand out five dollars and come home with a tote bag full of beer! 

Life doesn't get much better than that!

20121215

Training People in Fitness

I see that you are taking a role leading your fitness classes?

Very inspiring for an “natural” introvert like me.  I have always preferred solitary exercise so that I can make ad hoc changes to my workout without it having an effect on anyone else.  

I understand the value of training others from my work experience over the years, it deepens my own understanding and skills.  I look at my current efforts to keep fit, and I wonder why certain things that I take for granted now, were never taught to me by adults when I was growing up,  things like deliberate practice, breaking a skill down into pieces learning the pieces and putting it together for better performance, setting goals and measuring results, figuring out how to do better.  I know many adults that try something, like a fitness workout and quit it because “it is just too hard,” “it is too difficult,” or I tried that for a few days (or weeks) and I didn’t see the results that people claim so I stopped.  Reflecting on these encounters, I recognize the value of playing sports, team sports, and learning a musical instrument when I was in school.  I recall workouts that the basketball or soccer coach had us do, and has a child I considered them boring and a waste of time.  Only now do I begin to see some of the real value that was being shown to me.

The skills I needed were demonstrated but never put into worlds.  Without the words I was slow to generalize ideas that could cross over from sports to music to academic studies.

Since my move to NH, I have paid more attention to other people and why they do the things they do, People I meet, people I recall, and occasionally fictional people.  I some people have an understanding of what it takes to maintain and keep a kind of fitness.  I was profoundly influenced by reading “Tarzan of the Apes” when I was a child, and stories my mother told me about the athletic skills of my great-grand father.  Other people either never participate in sports, or if they did, do not apply the ideas to their current lives.

 

Journal Writing, second try

 Thanks for the journal writing posted by James Clear.  I like his footnotes, but I haven’t taken the time to read all of them.  Thanks.

I still have not figured out the web page format for journalling.  I just found this, I’ll try it out but use my email a a personal backup for my journal entries that are not hand written on paper.

https://penzu.com/

(I inserted a comment in your previous email of Nov 4th.)

Text format history in IT world:

I didn’t print out hard copies all the time.  What I did was save my files in “text” format, a feature that all word processing programs had, but in some of the programs, like Word Perfect, it was hard to find text as an export choice.  

The benefit of text was that text is readable by anything that we have used since the 90’s (maybe earlier, I took some computer programming classes at Old Dominion College night school courses in 1987, and it usually worked there for the large computer, main frame, that each student had an account with.  These were the days before “expensive” personal computers, PCs, could be made available to a individual students, unless you could get through the line of waiting students at the “workshop".) 

Text is a translation of computer language in order to make it readable by humans.  How many people do you know that can use the classic 1,0 format for their communications?

For years, the 70’s and 80’s,  I did not want to get involved with computer language, tape with holes punched in it.  Only when the text output/input computer main frames began to show up on Navy ships was I inspired to take the IT courses at the local college in Norfolk Virginia.

The computer programming course that I took in college consisted of taking the punched tape of a machine that looked like a keyboard communications device, run the punched tape through the mainstream reader, come back the next day to get the results from the main frame output.  If there were any errors in the punched tape, need to fix them and run the 24 hour reading again.  What a pain in the ass that was.

Journal writing:

I still have not figured out the best media/format to use for my journals.

I wish I had known that you kept and wrote journals.  I gave away all my journal writing books this past year.  I had several good books about journaling, how to write journals and different practical needs for journals. Most of these needs had to do with personal growth and psychological/emotional welfare.  I never read any of these books thoroughly, just the table of contents and interesting chapters.

I kept one journal book, that was recommended to me by one of Lorraine Fertch's friends who I met at medical seminar one weekend.  The book is Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Comanpanion To The Inner Worlds.

( Ha, Ha, I just learned how to underline on my personal computer.  I have been so sloppy at learning the features of my personal products.  I know nothing compared to what I knew about computers, etc., when I worked in IT guiding groups of young folks to do IT support.)

The book is by Deena Metzger.  I only read the first 21 pages, I enjoyed them and marked in the margins what I thought was valuable.

I just put this book on my daily morning reading list.  I can at least finish reading the first chapter. 

I bought myself a 3 ring binder earlier in the week and filled it with 100 pages of lined white paper. The intention is to have a convenient paper journal, where pages can be removed or added as necessary .

Your discussion led me to 

https://iajw.org/how-to-journal-complete-guide/

Planning the Ocean Cruises, Reading Fiction

 Planning the Ocean Cruises, Reading Fiction

The captain of the ship learns about a good crew, ship construction, trip mapping, and worthy destinations. Some people spend their lives in  building or mapping, but at some point the realization that ready or not, travel is called for, time to move from engineer, builder, to traveler to my destination.

That is me.  One reason why I am conversing so much and reading so much conversation and fiction, less fact, less philosophy, is that I  have to absorb what I want now.  It is not what I used to want, or say, and have never mastered.  It is that time for me to move forward, ready or not, I must move!

Today I have Tarzan and the Ant Men in front of me.  Homer or Adler are not in front of me.  One chapter of Jean Klein will make it.

Jean Klien

“Questioner: In certain situations in life I feel blocked by a fear which prevents me from acting. How can I be free from this obstacle?

Jean Klein: First free yourself from the word, the concept, ‘fear’. It is loaded with memory. Face only the perception. Accept the sensation completely. When the personality who judges and controls is completely absent, when there is no
longer a psychological relationship with the sensation, it is really welcomed and unfolds. Only in welcoming without a welcomer can there be real transformation.

We are in essence one with all existence; when we truly observe ourselves there is

ultimately no observer, only observation— awareness.”

Goal Assessment January 12, 2022

 Begin forwarded message:

From: Frederick Vogt <fvogt@me.com>

Subject: Re: goals; update after 15 Years

Date: January 12, 2022 at 11:59:34 AM EST

To: Harry Vogt <hevogt@gmail.com>, James Vogt <jvogt.cda@gmail.com>

Jim, and Harry

I don’t have an email showing I ever replied to you question below.  I hope I gave you a phone call instead.

My perspective has certainly changed in the last 4 years of my retirement.  I tend to get “addicted” to my goals, and neglect other parts of my life that are not part of a goal. I thought I would live “goal free” as Harry mentions below, but I found my body began to rebel.  I was getting physically out of shape, my belly was getting bigger.  I have found that a certain minimum structure for my days is valuable for keeping fit and healthy, and to keep moving toward my current interests.  As long as I stick to my daily routine, determined by my weekly/monthly plans, everything works well and I feel happy with my life.

My current interests, (but not goals) are:

• to have a better understanding why people behave the way they do, so many people are their own worst enemies and they don’t seem to know it.
• To learn the mathematics that I need to know to understand modern physics books, i.e. number theory, analytic geometry and n-dimensional vector calculus.  These are topics that I covered in college, but I have found it very rewarding to revisit them.  
• To understand the role of concepts in my thinking by watching how my mind works when I work math problems out imaginatively and then formalize them via concepts.  I am amazed to find out how large the role of imagination is in thinking and understanding.
• To read good stories and essays, learn to appreciate good drama on TV or in books and improve my senses of smell and taste.  Compared to Amanda I am almost blind when it comes to smell, taste, appreciating drama, or listening to music.  I am beginning to desire to enhance my experience in these artistic arenas. 

My biggest distraction is the local library system.  I am limiting the number of books I check out at a time, so that I can get more of my own studies and home projects done.  Home projects are to clean out old files, photographs, floppy disks, and email, (like this one).

My worst bad habit is not asserting myself in conversation with others.  I have an underlying fear I won’t be liked.

When I look back on my working life, I realize other things could have been accomplished if I had dedicated myself to those goals, but when I read my old files, and emails from those time periods of my life, I see that I made the best possible choices for who I was at the time.  So no regrets.  

Goals are given to us by the possibilities that we commit to.  We all have possibility via imagination, what is missing willingness commit. If I am not working toward my goals, I ask myself “what is stopping me?”  I write down the answers for clarity and post them on my bathroom mirror.

Frederick N. Vogt
410-746-1502 cell
fnvogt@gmail.com
fvogt@mac.com

On Dec 11, 2006, at 8:53 PM, Harry Vogt <hvogt@metrocast.net> wrote:

Brain Surgery September 4th

Started writing a reply to your email yesterday afternoon.  It turns out that I write “like a nut,” doing lengthy documents that are barely connected to the idea and carry crazy implications.  What I write in the afternoon tends to be worse that what I can write in the morning.

I can do it better by keeping it brief.  I had to have brain surgery September 4th due to microbial infection of my brain.  My surgery has worked out well (by the doctors standards, seems terrible to me).  We saw my doctor yesterday for a quick check on his part.  I didn’t know exactly who he was, (typical symptom of brain surgery), until he told me.  I thought he was a potential member of his staff.  I was surprised that the actual surgeon wanted to check with me.

Your complaints about visiting nurses and various types of therapy weakly matches my experience.  My visitors did speak English and were understandable.  Had one or two good visits, but the majority were poorly prepared nurses.  A couple of them were so bad that Amanda called the medical clinic and reported that we did not want to see xxx, yyy, ever again.

It sounds to me that you live in a wonderful place.  Evidently more summer oriented than annually functional.  I am sure that you a leading the trend and will see great progress in the next few years.

We moved to NH, the state where I grew up. My sister Jane, my brother Harry live close enough to drive over for dinner.  We picked a place to live that is close to the airport, a hospital, and has a nice view of the Merrimack river.  Amanda did several months of research via the internet before we left Maryland to physically inspect this place.  We rented for two years just incase we found something that we liked better. We didn’t.

Recently, a few days ago, I realized that fitness and health do not ensure freedom from disease or a long life.  This generated an early morning sense of urgency to do only what I really want to do and not waste any of my time watching or reading fiction.  (Perhaps this is what happened to me, or I have invented a fake explanation of who I am.)

I have been rereading a Kindle book on philosophy by Mortimer J. Adler.  The reason I know that I am rereading it is that it has notes that I left so long ago that I am a completely different thinker than I was 15 years ago, (Kindle hit the market in 2007.)  I read the book now and I have to read many pages and paragraphs at least three times to understand what Adler is writing.  I felt that this rereading was a symptom of my brain surgery, i.e. stupidity.  Then I found a note, by me years ago, in the book that cited exactly the same information about rereading pages three times.  I believed the repeated reading was related to the complexity of the document.  So I now confuse normal rereading as being a symptom of my stupidity.  I am confusing intelligence with stupidity.

Amanda has confronted me many times for blaming my thoughts and actions on my brain surgery.  She assures me that I am acting effectively and normally. I should stop complaining about the quality of my thoughts and actions.

My lesson is that just because my sense of thinking and feeling is different doesn’t mean that it is worse than it used to be.  It is only different, not worse (i.e. crazier).

Completion of my Life, History

Completion of my Life, History

Can I write essays using email drafts?
Steps:
Send essay to "fvogt@mac.com”
Start writing derived from steno pad notes.

Topic is “completion of my life.” Notes are on page 20231022 Sunday.

In 1990, a few months after separation from my wife Donna, I am taking the Landmark Forum during the month of March, forget the exact date, second week end etc?

I was 35 years old, and I realized that my life was complete. I had accomplished all I wanted, needed in life. I had two children, an ex-wife (soon to be) who would take care of them.
Now at age 68 I discover that there is much more to my life that I had ever imagined. I am still growing and expanding my self. Incredible, how does this happen? I continue to discover my “road to freedom.”


Key insights:
Discovering the ideas and habits that I unconsciously carry with me and use them to drive my behavior. Following discovery making decisions about following or changing them? Can this even done, can I recall them a few days later, can I honestly change my being, am I related to and helping the people that I know? Discovery that what I think is growth is finding out that this is not due to retirement or older age. I find younger people dealing with the same or more complicated issues.